“If I do not think about it,
it does not hurt me,” she told me.
“If I choose to ignore the truth,
I feel no pain or sadness.”
I could not believe how someone could choose ignorance to ensure peace of mind.
You did not understand that the peace you received from what you choose to ignore would not last.
You did not understand the role you played.
When you chose to ignore his actions and blatant disrespect of you and the relationship,
you enabled him.
When you choose to remain quiet even as you bled from his callousness,
you justified his behaviour.
You were never the instigator but you were complicit in your own suffering.
Shivani Pillay is 22 years old and a recent graduate from the University of California, San Diego where she studied American Politics and Sociology. She currently resides and works in Washington D.C. as a research analyst for the federal government. Shivani aspires to attend graduate school and achieve a masters in International Relations. She hopes to become a research analyst at the United Nations or CIA conducting research promoting electoral integrity and social equality for all.
Since childhood, Shivani has enjoyed all types of art forms. Shivani is a professional Indian dancer and has performed Bharathanatyam in numerous countries including South Africa. Shivani is avid reader and writer. She loves to write poetry. At first, her writing may seem juvenile but she encourages you to look deeper into each poem and recognise the various concepts and intricate notions that coincide. Shivani strongly believes that poetry should intertwine relatable experiences and evoke emotion. Many of her poems draw on interactions that she has seen or experienced. Her poetry tends to relate to modern human tendencies such as insecurity and isolophobia and how forces such as social media, technology and fear of change influence these tendencies.
Shivani loves to volunteer and she aspires to better the world through political action, legislative research and social forces.