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Before Now by Mamokete Mahlatsi

Mamokete Mahlatsi | February 2nd, 2017 | a poem a day challenge, poetry | No Comments

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[tab id=1]
Before now
I used to turn words into lines
Lines into sentences
Sentences into paragraphs
Paragraphs into poem
Poem into poetry
I was a poet
No… i wasn’t (i didn’t like poetry only)
I was married to it
Back there (for sure)
I had rhythm
My beats
Were a hit
They strike and stoke a heart
Once and twice
Gave it an attack and paralysis
My sounds
Were impressed and impressive
Deep and through they vibrated
I could have never been proud of myself and the work I do
My movements
Were moving a move
(meaning they were causing strong emotions
To affect a person feelings)
Again were main division of my work
And lastly were a group of words working together
To achieve good result
For a cause of creating a good poem
I could rhyme
Hhhm… you don’t me I see
I will show you
When coming to me… rules were bent
So i can have a chance too… to make a cent
I can’t afford in a surface to make a dent
Because I am the only one who fend
With whatever I am going through… i wish I can be more genteel
Before now
I could write a full poem
In a day and finish it
Hmmm (yes… i was that good
It would be nice
And I would be praised and applauded for it
By those who read it
Yeah(me me me)… i was that great
I should be named the greatest of that time
Because my work spoke for itself
Now
What I do is
Stare at a blank page
Hoping to see a sentence papering from nowhere
Written by who… i ask myself
Again I erase what I have written
Which isn’t a good thing to do
If I wanna write something
Also I take a lot of time thinking of
What I should write or what I shouldn’t write
I am in doubts… i am unsure
I don’t have faith in myself anymore
Really I can’t write anything… i don’t know why
I tried to do so… i swear… i am not lying
I think I am experiencing writers block
Or worse I have lost my talent and writing skills
hmmm (ohhh god)… what am I going to do now
My sonnets can’t be 14 lines
My ballads can’t tell a story
My eulogies can’t praise a person or a thing
(I need inspiration… i am not inspired enough
I will look for it… i believe I will find it)
I want a muse… i am not creative anymore
(I will seek it out… i will get it like I am promise to receive when I ask for something)
I like to have a motivator… i am not motivated to do anything again
(I will find it… when I do I will use it to its full capacity)
Maybe after doing all those things
I might be back to who I was and to doing what I did
“Before now”[/tab]
[tab id=2]
I am Mamokete Mahlatsi. I stay in small town in Free State called Ngwathe, Edenville.[/tab]

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