Sit down, Dave, I’ve got some news.
I have to be careful what words I choose.
It’s tempting to say your contract’s expired
But that’s not the way to tell you you’re fired.
I could say, ‘Journo in job loss shocker!’
But if I did, I’d be off my rocker.
[restrict]As headlines go, it isn’t shocking
Though it is a handy way of mocking
The headlines you’ve been churning out –
Headlines that whisper instead of shout.
‘Builder turned perjurer: the absence of truth’?
How about ‘Builder can’t handle the roof’?
‘Well-known fisherman turns to God’?
Clearly should’ve been ‘I believe in cod’.
And that dehydrated tennis bride –
It was her birthday, almost died –
‘Tennis player saved with juice’?
No! ‘Love-40: needed deuce’!
What can I say? You’re a disgrace!
You can’t return – I’ve served you an ace!
this article was published in our print quarterly number seven, Words.
BUY yourself a copy at Book Lover’s Market and at Smashwords.