A Sub-Editor’s Last Day by Neil Laurenson

Sit down, Dave, I’ve got some news.
I have to be careful what words I choose.
It’s tempting to say your contract’s expired
But that’s not the way to tell you you’re fired.

I could say, ‘Journo in job loss shocker!’
But if I did, I’d be off my rocker.
[restrict]As headlines go, it isn’t shocking
Though it is a handy way of mocking

The headlines you’ve been churning out –
Headlines that whisper instead of shout.
‘Builder turned perjurer: the absence of truth’?
How about ‘Builder can’t handle the roof’?

‘Well-known fisherman turns to God’?
Clearly should’ve been ‘I believe in cod’.
And that dehydrated tennis bride –
It was her birthday, almost died –

‘Tennis player saved with juice’?
No! ‘Love-40: needed deuce’!
What can I say? You’re a disgrace!
You can’t return – I’ve served you an ace!

[/restrict]

Neil Laurenson has had poems published in the following magazines: Brittle Star; Garbaj; Here Comes Everyone; Krax; Never Bury Poetry; Poetic Licence. I have also had a poem published in ‘Reverie’ – an anthology of poems selected by George Szirtes. My poem ‘Free Admission’ was a winning entry in this year’s Inspired By My Museum International Poetry Competition. I regularly read my poetry at Worcester SpeakEasy and I read at this year’s Wenlock Poetry Festival and Ledbury Poetry Festival.