By revealing my deepest darkest fears
I was teaching her not to make me home
I undressed each evil thought
That had found room in my head
Right in front of her
I wanted her to understand
That my metaphors conceal
Only for the outsiders
For the ones who only give hand claps
And cheers as donations
To my aching soul
For the breath I take in
And exhale
As tantalizing poetry
But for her
I will rip it all off
Not expecting anything
But pure disgust on her face
As she learns of the horror
Underneath poetry’s clothes
How these words I purge
Are nothing but tar
Drowning my happiness
Expecting my tongue to be the sactifice
I….
Would give my flesh
For her to read as an open letter of grief
Of the unredeemable things I have done
I need her to understand that I am not worthy of her colors
Of her rainbow
I will only teach her
To bend her bones
Ntaoleng Patience Labane is a poet from the Free State. She is a writer, a slammer, a blogger, a podcast host of Her Thoughts, a vocalist and a visual artist. Her story is not yet written.