It’s only when you come home
These walls cry
The sorrow buried between these layers of cement is heart wrenching
Your parents never told you
That you are grief
But I am your lover
And I owe you nothing but God’s truth
You bring with you sadness and pain
And a hollowness that has learned to swallow stars
Like a black hole
Your mouth has learned to consume galaxies
I love you but staying means I too will end up swimming with all the other bodies in your chest
I want to stay
I really want to
God knows I pray
But I must leave
Looking back I’ll only turn to salt
Home with you feels like waiting for death
We feel it creeping on the walls
Demons nibbling on our flesh
Angels praying for us to be saved
I’m tired….
I’m tired….
I…
Mhm
I…
I can’t cry anymore
I cry for loving you
For hating this situation we exist in
You don’t know how to bring flowers to the dinner table
Instead you bring burning roots
Which is why you don’t know where your father comes from
He left with all the legacy
Left your mother with nothing but an empty boy with black skin
I mourn for you
I mourn for me
I mourn for hands that wish to save you
I’m dry to the marrow
From crying
I tried burning sage
But your soul was set on fire
And all the ghosts you have been carrying portaled to eat at my existence
This home of ours belongs to black butterflies and crows
And the loud silence that existed in the space between me and you
When you didn’t want to touch me
When you looked away
When you left only to come back because I felt familiar
Patience Labane is an artist from the Free State. Has a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities from the University of the Free State.