My spirit is sick, my flesh stinks of humiliation,
My mind is a harbour of defeat and hopelessness and
My heart remembers not the sounds of jubilation.
I cry in silence and push back the tears so as the world sees not,
But God you see how my life in knots has left my joy to rot.
I have lost and seas of disappointment I have crossed.
I live only as rejection deems fit,
Right there where curses are is where I sit but Lord…
Though I have nothing left to show
No strength left to let faith grow
I know you have pulled the dead out of their tombs.
Yes you have sealed a useless womb
And from it came nations,
Blessings that grew from seeds that were cast out to damnation.
I know these, I know more than I’m still to discover.
I know that without you I cannot recover.
Heal me Lord!
I lost my voice for so long that I hardly recognise it now but I know one thing, I will write my emotions out till that day when I shall hear my voice in each and every stance. Not the voice of pain, not sadness, ME.