I will not apologise…by Mamusa Mabodi

Quaz | Feb 17th, 2019 | poetry | 1 Comment


I will not apologise for who I am….
For being different
I was cut out from a different cloth
A colourful one
One that dares stand out
And is not afraid to be passed around and observed…
Like a specimen under a microscope
One that appreciates the awe and wonder it gets
As they talk and ask themselves how it is that this piece of cloth dares to be so different

I shall not be apologetic
For wanting different to what the ordinary woman wants
My journey is different
My journey begins and ends with me
People may cross my path
But I shall continue my journey by myself

Why then, should my path be determined by those who shall be by my side
For only a short while ?
Why then should I strive to be accepted by those who did not begin my journey with me?
And shall not be there when it ends
I choose to be my own master
I choose to embrace the cloth from which I am cut out
A colourful cloth
A cloth that stands out for good
A cloth that doesn’t have to appeal to anyone
A cloth that is used to sew the garments of a Queen
A Queen of my own palace
Where I shall dwell and never allow no being to make my stay unworthy..
Because the existence of my palace is determined by the beat through my veins and nobody else’s

For as long as life is pumped through me
The walls of this palace shall stand tall and proud
For nobody else has the power to demolish them
But the tailor who cut me out of the magnificent cloth…

I’m talking about the very same architect who designed my palace
And carefully decided on how to lay each and every brick
For as long as my palace stands…
I shall not be bothered by the opinions of kings and queens of other palaces
I was the first one to enter my own and I shall be the last one to exit…
And I shall close the door to the pump house of life behind me
And allow my veins to run dry…
For I would have fulfilled all that has been set out for me

Still, they will watch me in awe and wonder…
The grace with which I will move, as I exit
They will return to their own palaces and forget mine ever existed
I will, therefore, be my own master…
For I carry the key deep within the cavity of my chest
The key to my very own palace!!

Poet Bio

Mamusa is an only child who was born in Johannesburg, Leratong, but grew up with her grandparents in a small town called Piet Retief in Mpumalanga. She is a beautiful, smart, female black mechanical engineer 

She spent all her teenage years in a catholic boarding school, where she lived a diverse life marked with episodes of rebelliousness at certain stages in her life. Nonetheless, she still turned out better that most people imagined.

She is a happy vibrant person who has a lot of creative energy but has spent the past 28 years of her life worrying about what people will think of her and whether she will be accepted in society or not. She has immersed herself in a career that she has no passion for in order to have stability and security of income.

Recently, she has decided to live for herself. She has started pursuing a career in fashion design (part time at this stage). A career she has always had a passion for but lacked the boldness and courage to pursue it. She has started dancing and writing poetry. She has started living for herself and is discovering a new side to her own personality each day. 

She has learnt to embrace herself for who she is and no longer concern herself with people’s opinions.

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1 thought on “I will not apologise…by Mamusa Mabodi”

  1. Belos poemas.
    Gostaria de recebe-los a coloção Poemas do Dia e outros.
    A uma intinerância cujo a a fragância é o ser humano, o arco e flexa, os esquadros são explendores da negritude, um chamado para paz, um humanismo agregador, saliemte como a utópia.
    Ousado como a liberdade…
    Gritantes como o protesto das desigualdades.
    Da fome, do não a violência, das injustiças, das persiguições, das exclusões.
    Um grito contra o Patriarcado.
    Fica um cheiro de perfume nos versos e de quem os escrevem.
    Poemas de Paz.
    Poemas de Re-existências
    Poemas, doçura de ser livre…
    Preciso ler como necessito-me estar nos reencontros de mim mesmo.
    poemas, doçura de ser livre…
    Neles estão as flores da Re-exisistências…
    Neles tambem estão o eu.

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