Hi, just calling. Just leaving a voicenote.
Just sending an email. Just reaching out to…
…say I’m sorry, and you won’t see me again.
Ritual and smoke are all fair and well, but not for me,
this isn’t my altar anymore, this isn’t my tree.
I won’t worship at the feet of cisgender men.
You could panelbeat and sew and mend your god,
bring him back to life again, but it’s not my life anymore.
I’m sure you two will do just fine together,
but forgiveness has never been my strong suit,
and I have tasted mutton and honey and milk,
smelled open air, walked barefoot, worn silk,
I won’t fast anymore for all the wrong reasons,
besides, the last time he came back without my help,
I’m sure he can do just fine this time without me.
No, I’m not angry, just tired, and you’ll be fine.
You’ll hardly notice I’m missing by dinner time.
I have to go though. I’m running out of airtime.
I’m going through a tunnel. I have another call waiting.
Charl Landsberg is a South African poet, writer, musician, and artist who’s work focusses mainly on issues of social justice, LGBTQIA+ issues, etc.