Sometimes I worry I’m too quiet or too nervous
But I don’t know any other way to be
I’m tired and worried I’m doing the wrong thing
Living the wrong way
Going to art galleries alone
Sitting by myself watching the grass
Waiting for someone to tell me what to do
Does this sinking doubt ever go away
Do I want it to go away
The campus seems surreal
All the staircases go nowhere
And all the people walk in pairs
I think about dilapidated buildings and upside-down trains
Every structure falls eventually
Everything ends and no one will be left to make it sense of it all
So why do I spend my time worrying about what it means
There’s an empire beneath New York
Descending stairways and half-completed water tunnels
A tower to Babylon for sandhogs and subterraneans
The city will fall eventually, tunnels burst
Dams dry up, buildings collapse
And all we’ll have left are surreal photos and strange memories
Mistaken recollections of ancient Johannesburg
Of what it feels like to ride a taxi when you’re tired
Or what it’s like to have everything falling down on you
Of hospital hallways at night
And being too nervous to approach new people in the day
A dusty scrapbook, half-remembered feelings
And empty poems for no one to read.
The Sad-Eyed Boy is a 20 year old poet, currently residing in South Africa and studying at the University of Johannesburg. He has been known to write poetry in between excessive procrastination and occasional anxiety.