I remember when as little wain
I wandered ‘round the halls of pain
Like Achilles and his heel
I found my flaws were all to real
And in the dark of night I laid
In hospital bed
Wide awake
Machines beeping, lights flashing
Nurses clothed in white
Came to check on me at night
But could not keep at bay
The Shadow that haunted me still by day
And as I grew
So the shadow did too
Until he was much bigger than myself
And more than just a figment
Of a hyperactive imagination
He took on a life all his own
So by my teens the darkness grew
And slowly overshadowed
The light that battled deep within to
Keep the ground around me hallowed
And the shadow followed
His pursuit was never ending
The voices unrelenting…
Years passed
And the shadow followed like a tail
Until one day I came to terms with
The fact that it was okay –
Okay to be just me –
In fact –
It was encouraged
To embrace my fear, and all I lacked
To find a new way forward
Towards wholeness
And so each and every insecurity
Fear, doubt and anxiety
Was accepted as a part of me
And it was only then that I came
To acknowledge the epiphany
That the shadow was no enemy
But simply just a dream
That faded back into the night
As I opened up the cage
And let it go, just like a bird in flight
Andre Darius Labuschagne is a poet, musician, and pastor from Johannesburg, South Africa. He is currently involved with various church movements – and his theological and philosophical beliefs are reflected in his poems. A recovering drug addict, his poetry also explores themes of mental illness, substance abuse, finding God, and the process of growing towards completeness. He is also a part of the Village 2.0 which seeks to bring together people from all walks of life to make a difference in the lives of those around him.