Everyday is the same
Nothing out of routine
I do everything like a normal person,
but I can’t help feeling like someone’s watching me
All
The
Time
That feeling hits me hard when I’m on the job
Doing what any father would kill his daughter for
I’m not hurting anyone,
Yet I can’t help but feel guilty
Guilty for what I’m doing
Guilty for making a living
Guilty for living MY life
I don’t know when or why these feelings started,
I just wish they’d go away
When I catch a glance at myself in a hotel mirror,
I no longer feel excited, but disgusted with myself
I hate it
I feel like I’ve shamed my parents, even though they’re no longer here.
Reality sets in, its been them all along.
I’m here, on Earth
making a name for myself
While they’re there
Looking down on me
Disgusted with me
Because
EVERYDAY is the same
Nothing out of routine
I do everything like a normal person
They don’t want a daughter like everyone else does
They just want their child back
The one they would’ve been proud of
The one they loved so much
The one who never did a thing wrong,
Not the one constantly making mistakes
They want their baby back
The one the doctor handed them,
The little BOY the doctor handed them.