The Khoisan Girl by Elsa Moitsemang

Elsa Moitsemang | April 8th, 2016 | a poem a day challenge, poetry | No Comments


I do not know where to go
I do not know where to look
Consumed by a History
Haunted by its darkness
Electrified by its sound waves
Like the roots of a tree anchored to the soil
The only difference is that a tree is living and I am the living dead
They gave me freedom of speech
But the only speech they listen to is one that does not open old wounds
Internally bleeding
Because they taught me how to bury things
My heart carries ghosts around
For the sake of peace
Every story has its place
Mine is at the desert
The khoisan gave birth to me
They are the colour of my blood
Heart beats like the Namaqualand drums
For the sake of peace
I accepted the false identity they gave me and denied myself,Covered myself in shame
I looked at the mirror and died each day just to be free
Free from being coloured
Free from the struggle and suffering
Free from a society that says I was born from unrighteousness
My voice!hidden like the sun at night
I even forgot the sound of it
For so long I danced to another’s music
For the sake of peace
But this voice will no longer be tamed
Apartheid impoverished black people and improved white people
That is the truth
But we want to hide it
Forgetting that when lights go on
We receive revelation
Like a tatoo inked on skin
So are the lies of apartheid
Even though I want to Forget it
I can’t
Because whenever I look at the mirror
My skin colour reminds me
That I was conceived by black and white
Not black enough,Not white enough
Hair not coarse enough,Hair not white enough
Everyone has pain
But mine is not being enough of something
I want to know where to go
I want to know where to look
In case you are still wondering
I am a khoisan girl
And I am the beauty in apartheid

Poet Bio

I was born in the Northern Cape in the city of kimberly, I am currently studying for a Bcom degree in economics at the University of Pretoria.

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