Lights out.
I can hear others snoring.
The night is silent.
It ain’t calm, it’s violent.
I blink in the dark.
The dogs bark.
And I hate the dogs bark.
But I need it.
I need it to scare the violent night away.
The voices in me need light when its dark.
The phone if it were to buzz.
Show me someone is awake and I dwell in thoughts.
The only light I reflect on is when my screen comes on .
Light can’t save me.
The dog’s bark.
Whiles away thoughts in my brain.
Something to mumble about.
But when they don’t stop
I can’t sleep.
I am scared of the night.
I don’t like blinking when it’s dark.
But I do that even in daylight.
I mean blink in the dark.
The night dared me , I just might.
The dogs stopped barking.
This silence smells like life after death.
I am thinking maybe a blade or a knife.
But I am bleeding, this is no life.
Someone tell the dogs to keep barking.
This bark is my stronghold.
It helps me flee from suicide.
But keeps me awake for thoughts of suicide.
It is helping but I need to decide.
Whether I grumble all night or die tonight.
Sibongile is a radio broadcaster at CUT FM, and a Language Practice and Media Studies student. She’s one of the MUNYouth delegates. A founder of BIC and Impact NGO. She’s a young ambitious woman who has been saved by poetry.
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I love this poem. It reminds of my beloved dog Fred. He was our night watch dogs.
This poem speakss volumes. It drives in some home truths. It’s like a painted picture of me in part. We’ll get through this.Thank you.SOS.