Blank…
That is how the story started
And that is what it became
As Ego found itself one day
Just drifting on the open sea…
Lost at sea…
Somewhere between six and sixteen
He thought he knew who he was
But that person had never been
And now at thirty he stood on the mountaintop
And looked upon the waters raging below
The journey had been tumultuous and slow
And even though perseverance and a sense of purpose
Led him to this point
He found himself empty and devoid of himself
All had been in vain
Ego looked in the deep
Jumped off that cliff and plunged into the depths below
So deep, even the dark could not be known
He had lost his name
But in the distance…
On shores of golden sand
Was the half he longed to take his hand
And as he drifted on the sea
He started to find, he started to see
The light that he waited for so long
Standing, waiting, longing on the shore
The one he waited so long to find
And love
The one who fed his hunger, his constant thirsting
His desire to drown in something more than
Saltwater
He got out of the water…
And he ran across the beach
He held her in his arms
And slowly he started changing, transforming
A metamorphosis of the soul
He started to become, he started to be
He started to see
That this whole time he was but a fragment
Of what he was supposed to be
And in that holy moment
He became whole and content
Started to be
Not an ‘I’ in the storm
But a “We”
And as he held her in his arms
In the circle they drew in the sand
He took her hand
And ventured forth into the vast and impossible horizon
And he thought about that moment
Before he plunged into the depths
Standing on that cliff, staring out at far away
And empty sunsets
And down into the deep…
That all of it was worth it after all.
For suddenly there was no blank page before him
But a world of boundless possibility
Where mountains move
And rivers flow in the desert
And there is writing on every wall of his heart
The journey up the cliff of destiny…
Was worth it after all.
Andre Darius Labuschagne is a poet, musician, and pastor from Johannesburg, South Africa. He is currently involved with various church movements – and his theological and philosophical beliefs are reflected in his poems. A recovering drug addict, his poetry also explores themes of mental illness, substance abuse, finding God, and the process of growing towards completeness. He is currently the pastoral counsellor at the Village 2.0, and hopes to help many overcome their battles with mental health and substance abuse issues.