I am sorry for all the times I have come to you in shards
Rolling away intact, heavy of suppression
Full to my chest of forgetfulness
Returning choking from all the thank you’s I have swallowed
Knowing they were rightfully yours
Made to pillow your heart after I had come into it like summer
Twirling around and soon swooning into a tornado
I know that I broke some things there
I am sorry for returning with nothing on my tongue
No sorry, just a storm
Breaking through back into your home again
Choking from all the memories I had forgotten
Asthmatic from all the realities I have swallowed whole
Burying them before they could die
I am sorry you had to bring me back to life again when I threw myself into an angry fire while you watched
Crying of me, wailing from my troubles
The ones I swallowed whole and promised to never cough out
I am sorry you had to save me again
When I returned back empty again
With nothing on my tongue
Dying from the poison of many troubles swallowed whole
Blocked from digestion by the many thank you’s I swallowed
Knowing that they were never mine to keep.
I am sorry now
That I have returned heavy
Gagging from all the sorrys I have learned are sitting inside
Waiting to exhale into the right place.
So here,
I am sorry for being a season of storms in your life
And never staying long enough to bring you rainbows
I am sorry
I am sorry
I am sorry
I am thankful
For all of you you have put into my life to keep me alive
I am thankful for the many times you allowed me back in
I am thankful for today a chance to reconcile
Poetry. Author. Photographer. Everything she is yet to become.