rejected by the word
or disgusted by love
Fear of hearing my voice
throwing in these two beats
“Je
t’aime”
I feel naked and weak
and I hate being weak
But I gave “I love you”
millions times at least
at parties and nights
where words do not count
and promises fade
I offered my life
in a “behebbak”
[restrict]mixing faith and love
with a call for help
Tried “ich liebe dich”
for one student year
Did the job, studied,
the man
But I couldn’t keep
my lips to German
and had to move on
to “aishiteru”
Yet this was stunning,
exotic enough
but it didn’t last,
let’s go to the next
This summer I got
the call for “ti amo”
he was all enough
mysterious and kind
smile, body and brain
but then when I tried
to breathe out loud
the words got stuck again
at the gate of my throat
“Je t’aime”
unspeakable mother words
this poem was published in our print quarterly number seven, Words.