What does her name actually mean? by Nkululeko Zondi

Nkululeko Zondi | November 11th, 2022 | poetry | No Comments

Poet Bio

What does her name actually mean?
Is the meaning really significant?
I’d rather speak of her humour and temperament

Her cynicism and childish coyness

A great listener and an independent thinker
An unreservedly patient lover
She who had a key to my heart but
Not the strength to push the door open
She who had the code to my silence but
Not the pattern to fork out the vulnerability

First lady of my intellect
We shared similar values and principles
Loving and at times stubbornly selfish
Tolerant of my tantrums and temper

A Zulu girl with manners and courtesy of the English
Innocently inquisitive and curious
Cautiously attentive and ambitious
Called a spade by its name

Possessive but not insecure
Quick to anger but forgiving
Not vengeful or loathing
Never sensed any jealousy from her

Not my first yet felt like one
The rawness the obsessiveness
Was like that of a mother for her son
At times, I’d pretend to be annoyed
Yet deep down
My heart would melt like a burning candle.

I’d demand much from her years
Yet she’ll come through
Grooming her impatiently
To be her groom
Grooming her every now and then
For a different groom.

She’d utter a word but perform
A different deed nowadays
Unconsciously conscious that we
Are inseparable
What we shared is beyond bodily feelings
What we shared is an intertwined bond

The future she used to envision for herself
The tomorrow she imagined for us
Still propels me today to act my part
Though we are no longer together
Propels me to make her proud

You don’t stop loving someone
On the day you break up
You continue loving them
Continue supporting them
And asking for their support

You wish them good fortune
You wish them their new lover
Loves them better than you ever did
You let go and become a cheerleader
Of their newfound path

How I cherish holding those small hands
Gazing those small, beautiful feet
Embracing and cuddling with you
Drinking Fanta Orange together
With Bakery’s biscuits the first day

How she’d make my bed
Clean, neat and tidy
Even suggesting a bin for the room
And I’d shrug that off

The childish silly chats coupled
With mind-provoking conversations
Play like a chick flick inside my soul.

Gone are those memorable days.

My accompanying her to the gate
As farewell for the last final kiss
Is a cherry on top.

My endeavours belong to her
My heart was warm in her palm
Our dreams are still ours

All that we hoped for
I still thrive for

Poet Bio

Nkululeko Zondi is an HIV/Aids Educator at the City of Johannesburg Municipality and an Occupational Journalism student at the Fray College of Communications. A former student of the University of Johannesburg, he holds an anthropology and psychology degree from the University of South Africa. He writes poetry and prose in both isiZulu and English; and has been published in numerous online literary publications such as Poetry Potion, AVBOB Poetry, Kalahari Review, Fundza.mobi, Aerodrome, Noisemedium, consciuosness.co.za among others and anthologies like Dear, South Africa (2015), Between the Silence: Poetry for Human Rights (2021), Calabash Literary Magazine Vol. 3 (2022), Voice of Africa: A Call for Freedom (2022) and the 2022 Sol Plaatje European Union Poetry Anthology. He work has appeared on various South African newspapers such as the Mail & Guardian, the Star, Sowetan, the New Age, Citizen and the Daily Maverick. Recently, Zondi became second-prize winner in both AVBOB Poetry’s Eco-poetry mini-competition in April 2022 and AVBOB Poetry’s Family First mini-competition in May 2022.

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